29th September 

29th September 

When the new president arrived at Paengea Records he ‘banned’ office birthdays. This afternoon however he was out of office, so we hosted an illicit prohibition birthday for someone in promo. There was cake and streamers and prosecco wheeled in from the office bar. When someone leaves a record label they’re presented with a wall plaque tiled with discs of album and single campaigns you worked on. They wheel out some of the champagne usually reserved for artist signings and prop the rest of the room up with prosecco. Loose protocol deems it acceptable to drink at your desk from about 4pm on Fridays. ‘Desk beers’. 

I recently found out we can actually clock off at 5:30pm on Fridays, as supposed to our usual 6pm weekday finish but didn’t realise because no one ever leaves on time anyway, even on a Friday which is a bit sad.   

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2nd October

2nd October

Archie wore a shirt to work for the first time ever and everyone took the piss out of him. Joff said he looked like a presenter of Top Gear because he had rolled his sleeves up. Archie kinda got him back saying he wouldn’t take shit from a man who wears jackets with tassels on them.  

I accidentally signed happy birthday into Danielle from promo’s wedding card. I was literally the last person to sign it so they had to Tipex it out and draw some flowers over it. 

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5th October

5th October

I spent the afternoon phoning and emailing meme accounts asking them if they’d seed one of our new tracks Zonked by an act called DeepHauz into some of the memes they steal off of other Instagram pages. This might just work as a strategy. 

We had a marketing evening out at Bloomsbury Bowling Lanes. Gabbo bowled a 156 score and I asked him if he was a prefect at secondary school and he said yes. 

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6th October

6th October

I’ve managed to organise DaBossmen a listening party in Nando’s in Birmingham through the brand’s ‘cultural outreach’ team, I think this must be the person who gives out Nando’s black cards. There was various back and forthing today on the best time to host the listening party and it has ended up taking place at 11am on Monday Morning. This is probably the last time of the week I would actually want to eat unlimited spicy chicken. Either our brand team or the Nando’s rep has something else they’d rather do on Monday afternoon because I am being told 11am is the only time the restaurant in Birmingham can do as they ‘have a big booking at lunchtime’ which is something I know is bullshit because Nando’s is a fucking walk in and sit restaurant. I guess I’ll get home quicker that night. 

Apparently The Label Upstairs have a throne in their office so I’ve asked the video team if we can borrow it for the DaBossmen interview.

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8th October

8th October

I’ve had to change the name of the listening party to a ‘listening session’ because the brand team said Red Bull might be annoyed if DaBossmen throw two parties in the same week with another brand. The flyer took seven back and forths on the email chain before we agreed on the positioning of the Nando’s chicken-head logo. 

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10th October

10th October

I had to catch a train to Birmingham at 9:36am. Around 10am Róisín started an onslaught of emails accusing me of not coming into work and fwding items that needed chasing and other micro-managing bullshit. 

I got to Birmingham Grand Central just on time but Wally (the DaBossmen’s manager) didn’t answer his phone until around 11:15 and had sent all the competition winners to the wrong Nando’s. When they did arrive at least three quarters of them seemed to be friends of his. The Nando’s rep was pretty moody and cold and the whole thing overran. Leyla had gifted me 4 pairs of headphones from Beats and I had to give 3 to the artists and Wally and I managed to keep one pair for myself. The battery lasts fucking ages on them! I went back to London and decided I should show up at work with 30 minutes until the end of the day being petty as fuck, basically to spite Róisín for giving me crap earlier in the day. I sat down at 5:55pm and got up at 6pm on the dot and walked out. 

Kara (the label MD) was talking about getting Danny Dyer on the DeepVoice video.

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11th October

11th October

DaBossmen were due to come into the offices to film some content in the Creative Room. When they turned up they were completely baked which made me jealous. Wally had agreed to help conduct the interview and hand over some questions for the director to ask the artists but after 10 minutes he fucked off to a surprise meeting without giving us the questions, all while I was out fetching him a mineral water from the canteen. I asked him to Whatsapp me the questions and he agreed to do so (via a series of Whatsapp audio messages) but he never sent the questions. In the end I had to sit down and make up questions and do the interview which was a clusterfuck. I decided to switch it up when I ran out of questions and get each of the artists to ask questions to each other. This actually completely changed the dynamic and they loosened up and we actually got some decent content, which was a total fluke. When I report back obviously I am going to say everything went incredibly and I had a stroke of genius last week when I was planning.

Afterwards I had to babysit the artists on the couches in Pangaea until Wally came back from his secret meeting (obviously cheating on us with another label in Kensington) because DaBossmen are only signed in for an EP deal currently. 

DaBossmen had their Red Bull party and I had to attend after work. There was free booze but you had to have it with Red Bull and I wanted to get to sleep tonight so I couldn’t go in on it all. DaBossmen mimed 3 songs to a room of 200 people.

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12th October

12th October

This morning there was a huge office debate as to whether a shoe on the internet was black and blue or pink and white. It got quite heated and we had to resort to Photoshop to settle things even though it didn’t really get settled. 

Nando’s got in touch and said they would like all of the Nando’s branding removed from the listening session footage because when they Googled DaBossmen a music video came up of a woman getting hit by her boyfriend. This was all part of the narrative of the video whereby DaBossmen come in and save the day and beat up the boyfriend but apparently it is too risky for them to be associated with anything like this. Leyla had flagged this narrative with them multiple times a couple of months back but they hadn’t listened. 

Archie showed me the video treatment for Zonked and it involves a Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man so I sent a brief to digital asking how we could incorporate a Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man into some digital content. 

Ketflix N Pills responded and sent me some funny videos of people on drugs doing stupid things which we plan to cut to the music and get them to post. Still think this could work. The guy who runs was out in the Philippines making a documentary on drugs, about drugs, possibly also on drugs. He is going to send me some examples of videos. 

I am going away to Barcelona for the next couple of days so I had to let Wally know about Nando’s pulling out of the Listening Session. I did it at the end of the day and copied Róisín and Leyla in but logged out of my emails and deleted my email account off of my phone so I don’t have to respond. 

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19th October

19th October

We arrived in Barcelona after at 9am flight and Andy (who’s Dad is in Duran Duran) took us to a really expensive Tapas restaurant where it was sometimes like 10 quid for two slithers of anchovies and odd dishes like that. It has been pissing it down non-stop. It started as soon as we got off the bus at Camp Nou to go watch Barcelona and I got completely soaked and had to buy two crappy umbrellas for me and Tim for 20 euros which felt horrid but necessary. I was concerned I might get trench-foot from my wet trainers. There was an electrical storm for the whole game and when we were in the highest point in the stadium I felt a huge amount of static build up and my umbrella sparked and I felt a charge in my hands and feet and i completely crapped out and threw the umbrella but then I needed to get it back because it was raining so much. I didn’t get struck by lightning in Camp Nou in the end. Tim said my hair was all standing on end. 

Tim has ‘torn his meniscus’ so is on crutches with a leg brace. This has made getting anywhere a complete pain in the cunt and when you add to this the torrential downpour, doing anything has become a logistical nightmare. Having said that I am still having a lovely time. 

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23rd October

23th October

I got so drunk in Barcelona I fell ill and on the last day contracted food poisoning which meant I couldn’t attend the Spurs Liverpool match (4-1 to Spurs, fucking typical after their boring ass home record all season) and I also had to have two days off of work this week. I still haven’t logged into my emails. 

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Wow You’ve made it this far…

Wow, you’ve made it this far…

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